Why I Chose This Path

What exactly drove me into this life? yes it did start by disposing the bastard who violated me when i was child even now the thought of him being my first cousin makes me want to vomit, i did not even go to his pathetic funeral using the excuse of being ill. Months passed after this incident and one afternoon i was having lunch with my best friend i told her about my childhood i do not know what came over me or why i did so, maybe because i wanted someone to soothe me someone to tell me everything would be fine you are not alone, i cried my heart out and at that moment i felt weak and vulnerable.

My friend's response did not soothe me it only darkened my world and crushed my hopes, like me she was also had been molested by her father's friend when she was 10 years of age, shocking is it not? makes you wonder what kind of society we live in.....We both cried holding each other we are not only bonded by friendship but by the same past, same pain, at first i felt sad then anger and rage overtook me at how easily child molesters could get away with it in Kuwait.

Months later i discovered almost every friend i knew had been molested either by a relative or a stranger, it came to the point that talking about such tragedy was like any normal conversation among the girls and no i did not mention my past. I kept asking myself why some found it easy to just talk about it even to strangers until i came to the conclusion because society does not care, families would rather hide it then shame their precious name, the victims suffered in silence their parents whom they thought would help forced them to never speak of it again, they had no one, they continued to live their lives carrying a heavy burden on their shoulders.

Newton's law,

"For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction"

Each victim reacted differently then the other, some loathed men in general, others became depressed and spent the rest of their lives being tossed from one psychologist to the other, some locked themselves in their homes fearing if they went out they might be harassed by men, majority became whores, so which of these categories do i fit in? i certainly did not become a whore nor did i fear men. One thing is for sure i did have an opposite reaction, since the authorities were too busy in their crusade against drugs and whore houses i took it upon myself to clean society of these animals, true not all would be caught but getting rid of one child molester makes a big difference to me. It is a slow process depending on many things which i will explain in later entries.

Blessed Be,
Poena.